It's been a long time
My weight loss is continuing well. This week alone I lost 4lbs, which is amazing considering that I have almost lost 6 stone now. It's supposed to slow down towards the end, but weight just keeps falling off me without me even trying that hard. I will have to stop soon though as I now take a size 10 and if I get any smaller I won't be able to find any clothes that fit me as they will all be too big LOL.
Amazing when you look at the post below this one and see how I was when I started out.
Still here and doing well
The weight loss is going well. I have gone from a size 20/22 blob
To taking size 12 jeans from Select
I'm not finished yet. I still have another 1-2 stone to go
Slimmer of the month
I lost 8 and a half pounds in August and i was my classes slimmer of the month. These are the pretty flowers I was awarded. I have really got the hang of this slimming thing, it's so easy now.
When i started this I was a size 20. I had to buy new trousers last week and I got in all the size 14 trousers I tried on. This is amazing and I don't understand why I never did it sooner.
Know your enemy: Fashion magazines #2
Michelle McManus is in the papers again this week. She's lost 9 stone and now she is get this: a size 16. Does that image look like someone who is a size 16?
On the next page is a gorgeous photo of Jo Frost who is called "A generous size 20"
You tell me who looks thinner? Who looks sexier? Who is the best dressed? The answer to all those questions is Jo Frost. I think her size is accurate, she looks like a happy healthy gorgeous size 20. She exudes sex appeal, she looks fun and pretty. I wish I looked like her, she gives me hope. Michelle McManus on other hand looks as wide as a house and if she really is a size 16 it makes me feel disgusting because I am the same size as her and I don't think I look quite that ...
wide.
While lies are perpetuated all it does is make us feel bad about ourselves. Don't believe the hype!
Another step closer
About 6 months I was desperate for a smart black well fitting jacket. Just a nice plain, possibly slimming, black coat. Easy job right? Think again.
Unless you have the cash to flash and can afford visit the ageing opera singer hell also known as Evans, then you are probably out of luck. For those of us on a budget and of portly proportions the choices of shopping outlet are greatly reduced. Both New Look and Mark One are a bit rubbish, preferring to suggest the average fat bird should dress in poncho sized t shirts so large you can fit a 20 word slogan on them. They might as well say
My other T Shirt is a four-man tent. Since Etam appears to have gone belly up my only choice was bargain basement fatty shopping.
Yes, I went to Primark, but since not a thing in the shop would fit me Peacocks was my final and only choice. Peacocks is a great shop filled with wonderful and cheap clothes going right up to about size 24, but apparently the largest size jacket they make is a size 20. I was overjoyed since I am a size 20, but the jacket would go nowhere me and I left the shop dejected and consoled myself with McDonalds.
Fast forward to today, 6 months later and 14lbs lighter. Now surely I can fit in my beloved peacocks size 20 jacket. Check this out.
It's a size 18.
What I have learnt from celebrities #1: Vanessa Feltz
Most fat celebs bleat on about how they love being "curvy" (which really means porky) They say how happy they are being fat and wouldn't change it for the world and everyone praises them for having so much self esteem and what a boost it is for fat people all over to see someone just like them on the TV.
We all know it's a lie and that they go home and cry and stuff their faces with fried cheese to blot out the pain. Then they get all evangelical after finding out their husband is cheating on them, they lose weight and appear on the cover of every magazine showing off their new slim line figure and talking about the new fitness video they bringing out so YOU TOO can lose weight just like them! Then they go nuts and put all the weight back on. Wow. What a role model, eh?
If Vanessa proved one thing it was that if you have the body and the personality of a prize pig then don't expect losing weight to make you any happier. If you are miserable now and you lose weight you will still be miserable, you will just take up less room while you do it.
Sexercise: Wanking your way to weight loss
Jogging. It's dull and hard work and not remotely enjoyable. Aerobics. It makes you sweaty for no good reason. Kissing, however, burns 5 calories a minute so find yourself a willing partner and go for it.
One session of masturbation burns off around 150 calories. The calorie content of TWO fun sized snickers bar is 144 calories. See where I am going?
Masturbation also stops you craving sweet foods as the orgasm stimulates the release of phenethylamine, a natural amphetamine, which is also found in chocolate, into the blood stream, so once you are done you probably won't even want those two fun sized snickers.
You are lucky enough to have a chubby chasing partner? Shag away! Having sex 3 times a week for a year is the equivalent of running 75 miles and I know I'd rather do some horizontal jogging.
Oh and since the average ejaculate contains less than 25 calories you might as well swallow too.
Know your enemy #2: fashion magazines
No, not because they offer a false view of the perfect woman and cause us all to be anorexic, but because they persistently lie about the size of fat celebrities and cause people who are an actual size 16 to think they are also the same size and look hideous.
Case #1: Fern Britton.
Who hasn't seen the famous pictures of fern Britton running round the beach in a bikini with a wobbly belly. I say to her Good on you, love. Let it all hang out. I say to Heat magazine
Do NOT try to convince us this is a "generous size 16" because we know better.Case #2: Michelle McManus
Popular fattie Michelle McManus has done an amazing job of losing the weight. Once again, good on you love! Heat Magazine claimed that in this picture she was a size 16. Compare and contrast:
Michelle McManus: Size 16
Me: Size 20 (pre losing 14lbs)
Not an awful lot of difference is there?
While fashion magazines claim porky celebs are a size 16 to spare their blushes all they are doing is causing people who genuinely take a size 16 to think they look like THAT. So come on
Heat, when a portly star claims they are size 16 don't take their word for it, get that tape measure out and check!
