Know your friends #1: The humble cornflake

When dieting the first thing most people reach for is this:



The bran flake. Bran flakes, however, are worse than eating cardboard. They taste like utter crap and they make you fart LOADS. Don't fall for the hype.



Cornflakes, blessed cornflakes, how lovely you taste first thing in the morning. You don't go soggy and you taste delightful.



Frosties, a little bit too sugary, but you are nice too, especially, as pictured here, when you are imported from Germany.

Lets view the health statistics with my patented method of calories counting (ie looking on the back of the packet)

Bran flakes 30g serving with semi skimmed milk: 154 calories
Cornflakes 30g serving with semi skimmed milk: 171 calories
Frosties 30g serving with semi skimmed milk: 170 calories

See that - when you eat bran flakes you are enduring eating something that tastes vile for a saving of 17 calories. So eat your frosties, eat your cornflakes and then go and masturbate to burn off the extra 17 calories. I guarantee you will be happier.

posted at 11:14 AM